Oh Canada II

Why did the Canadian cross the road? To get to the middle. How do you get 25 Canadians out of a pool? Ask them to get out of the pool.

Some more Canadian funnies: Once upon a time, in the Ottawa galaxy not so long, long ago, Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition in Parliament wasn't so loyal. It was a federal party called the Bloc Quebecois and they were separatists. Its members were duly elected to advance the interests of Quebec only with a view to tearing the country asunder. An aboriginal protester from South Central Ontario, who had a penchant for wreaking havoc by blocking railway tracks for days on end, resisted arrest by saying that he would report to police only when he finished his public mischief and spent some time afterward with his family. We have a history of vague governance - conscription if necessary but not necessarily conscription. In the 1970s, the provincial Quebec separatists, the Parti Quebecois, bandied about terms that received far too much federal attention. Terms like "asymmetrical federalism" and "sovereignty association" were fancy terms for "We want Quebec to be its own country but we want privileged economic links to Canada and a common currency plus a whole bunch of other stuff." (Oddly, one separatist leader, Jacques Parizeau, wanted to remain loyal to the British Crown, something many English Canadians couldn't be bothered with). This party conducted two referendums on separation with the rest of the country watching helplessly.

For years, Canadians were slaves of intrinsic mediocrity. There was a time when the West Edmonton Mall had as many submarines as the Canadian Navy. Those of a certain age will remember "Joe Who?", "Fuddle Duddle" and a newly-adopted flag that nobody really liked back in 1965 but was thought to be the least offensive choice. After all, we don't like offending people. And then there is the Queen of Canada...who is not Canadian.

Many moons ago the great Canadian journalist, Bruce Hutchison, discussed the Canadian personality in an essay of the same name. He described it as, "The smallest needle in the largest haystack in the world". We tended to be invisible to the world at large, obscured, I think, by our great neighbour to the south. If we differ from the Americans, they are small differences, but differences some still like to tout every now and then.

That said, we Canadians seem to be growing more and more content with ourselves. Gone are the days of the vocal and embarrassing outbursts of insecurities regarding the Americans. This seemed to change with the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics when we "owned the podium". We garnered the most gold medals of any country in any prior Winter Olympics, though we still rather suck at the Summer Olympics. We seem less shy about waving our own flag. We are comfortable with the leaders who represent us on the world's stage and, I think, we finally like ourselves.

So, here's to life, liberty and security of the person and to peace, order and good government! Happy Canada Day!