A Christian Response to Bullying

Bullying has always been with us. The first recorded incident of it is in the Garden of Eden when the serpent manipulated the first couple by tempting them with the forbidden fruit that would supposedly lead them to "true" happiness, a happiness apart from God. The first murder took place before the first generation had passed and innumerable murders have taken place since.

Jesus, in His Sermon on the Mount, taught us that bullying is murder in embryo (Matt. 5:21-22). If you see a bully, you see a killer. Many people die inside long before their physical deaths because of the harsh words spoken to them in times past. Such is the convoluted and complex mess that sin causes: the bullied become bullies themselves, striving for some shred of dignity and hoping to find it in someone else's shame. And on and on it goes.

Since relational conflict is always with us, bullying is a fact of life. So, as a Christian, what does one do about a bully? Turn the other cheek? Yes, Jesus said to do that in the same sermon a few verses later (Matt. 5:39). It is an irrevocable command in Christianity that we are not to return evil for evil. However, I don't believe this means we can never fight back. When bullied - emotionally or physically - turn the other cheek and then take a step backward. Try to resolve the conflict as best you can but if the bully doesn't want resolution, walk away. If the incident was a one-off, shake it off and move on. But what if the bully is a family member, a co-worker or someone else who isn't going to leave your life sphere anytime soon?

I believe there is a way to fight back without compromising our Christian convictions. Remember what Jesus said in Matt. 5:22, "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court". Some manuscripts read "whoever is angry at his brother without a cause..." which would make some sense since Jesus Himself got angry at times. Whoever is angry without a cause is the one in the wrong and before taking action, you need to be sure that your adversary is harassing you without cause. We need to check our own thoughts; each of us has the capacity to do that. Once satisfied that you are dealing with a bully, you need to stand up to him (or her). How? First, take another step back.

Now here comes the spiritual response. Pray for the situation to change. Then you need to face your own fears and anxiety. Confess them to God. Then I would read a psalm or two (I recommend 35 and 139). Know that you are a child of God and accept the fact that you are what He says you are and not what others say. They didn't make you, He did. Know that you are loved by God because He says so and the fear in you will be defeated. "Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). Once this is settled, God's transforming love in you will show forth in kindness and in the quiet and noble strength that only God can make happen in you.

Bullies don't know what to do with that. They are self-centered and insecure and delight in other people's humiliation. It's particularly sad to see such people in church on Sunday. They seem completely unaware that healing is available to them, too, but they won't have it. God is not a part of their lives despite what they may say. Pray for them but don't return evil for evil. Don't let them own you.

Assume the dignity and self-worth that are yours from God. Abraham Lincoln said, "It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him."